Vladimir Concescu is Back at The Game!

Hello Again DuroSports Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of the DuroSport Electronics Company.

I am back from my staying in Moldovan Prison #34,982. Did you missing me? Am very saddened that I wasn’t allowing to blogging from inside Moldovan Prison #34,982 and not sharing my thinkings on the bittorrenting of Heroes finale. Couldn’t Chiseljaw Flyingman just drop Spongeboy Squarehair over the ocean and flying away before explosioning instead of explosioning over New York? The Atlantic Ocean is very big. Big!

But I am not in the posting for that reason; I am recording the straight record on what Nero is writing about my prisonerness. I am explaining how it is all Nero’s fault. Nero’s!

Continue reading Vladimir Concescu is Back at The Game!

The Making Of The Virtual Prism DuroSport

As I have told you all, we are very excited about our new store in The Second Life as well as our new virtual Prism DuroSport. I have asked the legendary Madmann Legend to write about the making of the virtual media player. Here is an exclusive behind the scenes look at how it all came about.
– Nero

Greetings, I am me, Madmann Legend.

Wow… sorry, I’ve been working around these Moldovans too much. You’d be surprised how easy it is to soak that up. They made me change “Loading, Please Wait” to the more Moldovan-correct “Making Load, Please To Waiting…” Just thinking about it, I’m making load right now.

I’ve been asked to write a few words about helping to bring the DuroSport 6001 into Second Life. I suggested “moist”, “juggernaut” & “dyspeptic”, but they wanted a whole bunch strung together into sentences, so here I go.

When I was first approached by my friends Blu & Sandry (aka LogSpark) to assist in this project, I was told we would be making a virtual version of the Prism DuroSport. I thought, “A glass jockstrap, what a marvelous idea!” I hadn’t yet encountered the most unique media player on the market. Or whatever.

Madmann Legend and the virtual Prism DuroSportBeing a number-crunching geek & criminally insane came in very handy on this effort. Although the First Life DuroSport uses incredibly large numbers in its DRM scheme, they seemed not be enough when put into the infinite possibility of Second Life. Our initial attempts were, well, let’s be honest here… disastrous. Music was escaping from the player at an alarming rate. For a company whose motto is “Your Music Will Never Escape”, that wouldn’t really fly. I kept raising the numbers, till they were like huge plus 13…. but still we had random sightings of herds of wild Fall Out Boy mp3s all over the north end of the grid. Pretty sure we got ’em all, but they breed like mad in there. Ebi Ebi put the last one down himself, just like in Old Yeller.

Which brings me to my confession. After the Fall Out Boy incident, I got frustrated and just told the big-ass numbers in the DuroSport 6001 “TIMES INFINITY!” Worked pretty well in grade school, in Second Life, not so much. The resulting load on Linden Lab’s server made the grid shaky for about a weekend. So what, you never screw up where YOU work?

So the introduction went well, despite all the protesters… They haven’t paid me anything for my work, just offered me something called “coup futures”. Supposed to be like pork bellies, I guess. I get paid if an Eastern European nation changes governments. Or whatever.

At this point I’m just glad to have this project completed. Your music is safe, even in Second Life.

Or whatever.

Teenage Girls Are Future

Hello again, DuroSport fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer for the Prism DuroSport Company, and am needing response to slandering from Nero. He is not understanding of the future. The future!

Definitions of teenagers is that young people are future. Teenage girls are future. Why am I the My Space with teenage girls is helping the future of DuroSport. Producting research. Has happening before: many importance technology breakthoughs come from producting research. Research!

Remembering the Time GPS — the breaking through for the Prism Two. Ideas from ex-girlfriend where I needed to whereabouts her after breaking many dates. Very sad. But great featuring! Teenage girls chat produce many ideals for Pütz. Ideals escaping over Nero’s overfocused tiny brain. Cannot not even spelling “Vladimir” incorrectly.

Nero seeing always only bad. Perhaps vacationing in Moldovan Prison will helping him? Ha! Ha!

Pütz vs. Zune – The Ultimate Showdown

As I am sure most of you know by now, something awful happened last week. Microsoft finally released their Zune media player. As we expected, it has quite a bit in common with the Pütz DuroSport. A little too much in common if you get my drift.

For months now I have been hoping to do a comparison of the two products to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Microsoft is stealing our technology. In August we made contact with a Microsoft “Insider”, who shall remain nameless. I’ll just call him Deep Pockets. Mr. Pockets is not such a bad fellow considering that he works for such an evil company. He indicated a willingness to provide us with information that would support our belief that our technical design specifications and marketing plans had been stolen. He was also going to provide us with a Zune prototype that we could evaluate in our testing labs.

Unfortunately Mr. Pockets vanished before he could provide us with a Zune. We have no idea where’s he’s gone. We certainly hope that he’s not been harmed in any way. This is the problem with Microsoft. They sometimes make people disappear. Remember that next time you disable Clippy.

As a result of Mr. Pocket’s disappearance we did not have an opportunity to review the Zune and compare it to the Pütz until this weekend. I was actually forced to use the DuroSport corporate credit card to buy not one, but two Zunes (how else could we possibly test the wireless song sharing?). Using our corporate money to buy a product that was stolen from us in the first place was the ultimate insult.

To make matters worse, when I arrived at my local Best Buy on Thursday night there was a line around the block. The police were there trying to bring order to the crowd. It was a near riot situation. All for the Zune?! Can you imagine how crazy these people will get when our Pütz is released?

Finally around midnight they started letting us into the store and I was able to buy two Zunes. Most people were actually buying Sony PlayStations, if you can imagine that!

While Microsoft seems to have stolen many of the features from Pütz, they haven’t really implemented them very well, as you’ll see in my in-depth comparison below. In the end I think you’ll agree that the Pütz has many advantages over the Zune. Read on, and see for yourself:

Microsoft Zune vs. Pütz DuroSport (the next generation Prism DuroSport in case you haven’t been paying attention):

Product Name: Pütz and Zune are very similar four letter words designed to define a unique brand. Both have Z’s in them. While Zune starts with a Z, Pütz ends with a Z. The obvious difference between the two is that Zune has no umlauts. To be honest, I think it would be a better name if it were spelled Züne, but that might be too obvious a similarity – even for a company as shameless as Microsoft.

So which product has the name advantage? Ultimately I think it comes down to this: Zune is a dirty word in Hebrew while Pütz is named after one of the most respected players in American Baseball. It’s pretty clear which product is more family friendly. Would you want your children listening to a Zune? Just think about that for a moment. The implications are not pleasant. You’ll be much happier when little Johnny looks at you and says “Daddy, I want a Pütz”.

Compatibility: I’m surprised by the Zune’s limited support for some of the more popular audio and video formats. In fact, the Zune is even incompatible with Microsoft’s own PlaysForSure standard.

While it’s true that the Pütz is incompatible with the previous DuroSport formats, we offer a conversion kit which also works to provide full compatibility with a wide range of formats including iTunes. Zune can’t even come close to that sort of compatibility. Also, the Pütz is what we call a UMD (Universal Media Device), which means that it can play most popular media formats including Super 8, cassette, and VHS.

Software and Setup: This is an area where the two products are very much alike. Out of the box both media players can be setup in a little under six hours.

Product Size: The Zune is slightly larger than the iPod, but it’s still not big enough. The Pütz on the other hand is much larger than the iPod, and sturdier too. Our corporate policy on product size is well known. We’ve made a promise that our products will always be larger than our competitors and we’re sticking by that promise.

Capacity: This is an area where Microsoft has demonstrated an inability to think outside of the box. The Zune has a 30 GB internal hard drive. There are only so many songs you can store on an internal hard drive. The Pütz on the other hand has a 50 MB internal hard drive and also supports multiple types of physical media as noted above. Think of all of the music you still have on old cassette tapes. Now you can listen to all of your old favorites on the Pütz. With Pütz’s support for removable media there are no limits! Advantage Pütz.

Wireless: The Zune’s wireless capability is pathetic. The Zune can only connect to another Zune. What use is that? Who has a Zune anyway? Well, I have two, but that’s beside the point. I certainly don’t want them and I’ll be selling them on eBay any day now.

Pütz’s wireless is much more flexible and powerful than the Zune’s. Not only can the Pütz connect to another Pütz, it can also connect to your PC, the Internet, and broadcast to AM radio! Our wireless transmitter has a two mile radius (pending FCC approval). In fact, the Pütz’s wireless is so strong that we’ve received reports that the signal actually interferes with microwave ovens!!

Battery life: Both media players run on batteries. Is that a coincidence? I think not. Zune run’s for just under 12 hours per charge. The Pütz runs 48 hours (first charge only). DuroSport’s battery technology is clearly superior to Microsoft’s. I know this for a fact because there are only so many companies that have permission to deal with the North Korean scientists who developed our battery technology.

DRM: Microsoft has used a new type of DRM for the Zune. No one knows how secure it will be. If you buy a Zune someone could very easily steal your music. Then you’d have no music and a worthless Zune.

DuroSport has also developed a new DRM system for the Pütz. Our DT7 DRM is even more secure than our previous unbreakable DT6.

Available Songs: The DuroSport song writing has been working overtime for months to write new songs exclusively for the Pütz. Vladamir has been in the recording studio for weeks working on exclusive recordings for the Pütz. Has Mr. Bill Gates written or recorded any songs for Zune? None that I’ve heard of.

So there you have it. The most comprehensive comparison of the Pütz and the Zune ever published. It’s pretty clear that while Zune is a complete rip-off of the Pütz, it’s still an inferior product.

Stay tuned for more information on the Pütz’s upcoming launch.

DuroSport Pütz Logo

Scarlett Johansson Singing Tom Waits Only On Pütz!

Hello again DuroSports Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer for The Prism DuroSport Company. You are wondering where we are. Busy! We had huge responding to Blogger Day in Moldova post, so Nero had to make it Blogger Week in Moldova. Moldovan hotel industry overwheming by bloggers. Very excitement! Scarlett Johansson

I am now not just Chief Product Engineer, I am also Chief Deal Engineer. Not my official title, ha! ha! I live for product engineerment. Always.

But I am engineering deal that has me hyperventilation with excitement. Hyperventilation more than if Mariners win American League Pennant and not Tigers winning. Tigers! How is that in possibility? Because in American Baseball, anything is happening. And it is happening all of the time!

And anything is also happening in American Music Industry. Especially happening with powerful international product company like Prism DuroSport! Tom Waits

It is, of course, widely known that I am President of the Moldova Chapter of the Tom Waits Fan Club. He is my favorite Singer of Songs. What is not so widely known is that I am also President of the Moldova Chapter of the Scarlett Johansson Fan Club. She is my favorite Actress of Films.

So several weeks ago, when I was learning that my favorite Actress of Films was negoitationing to release CD of her singing songs of my favorite Singer of Songs, it was like peanut butter cups for me. Only with music.

It was naturally that I could use my Moldovan Fan Club connections to bring this CD to Prism DuroSport’s next-generation digital player,
Pütz. I used internet e-mails to engineer exclusive dealmaking with people represented Tom and Scarlett (as people said I am calling them now.)

So I am having the announcement right now: when Pütz is releasing early next year, it will contain, as pre-ordained content with every player, the entire digital recording of Scarlett Johansson Sings Tom Waits.

Best of all, it will be the World Premiering!! On Pütz. And because the Pütz player will be releasing in Moldova prior to releasing to rest of the Earth, only in Moldova at first are people listening to Scarlett Johansson Sings Tom Waits. And because of Prism DuroSport’s unbreakable DRM, it will being truly exclusivity to Moldovans!

DuroSport Pütz Logo

See Father, I do too caring about Moldovan people! I don’t have to actually being there to giving myself to my homeland!

That’s why I am in hyperventilation! Take that, Microsoft and Apple! Your stealing of this idea is not going to be so easy.